i hate myself
sometimes i really hate myself... the things i do.... which is so duh....
Ok... you see... my beloved's birthday is coming and there a birthday party held for him @ KL....
from the beginning, i was sooo determined to be there... rain or shine, or storm (yea.. heard there are some storming in Malaysia now) coz its my beloved birthday. I HAVE to be there!
Tried to find company to go... but... cant find.... coz its on a sunday, and will have to take leave on Monday.
Then i decided, well.. i shall go myself then!
Then friends start scaring me with horror stories... and said its unsafe for me to go there alone, which i agreed too....
i am quite clueless about KL, only been there twice and each time for less than 4 hours (i think). I do not know my way around. I will get lost. People will stalk me if they see me alone. rape? robbery? taking my life away?
Yes, every possible scenarios come into the picture and I am slightly worried too...
Plus, it's Mother's day this sunday.
I dont want my mama to get a bad mother day present. What if i am involved in accidents? what if i really die there? what if... what if???
The newspapers always report tragedies like this.... Mother: i never expect such present from my daughter. she always celebrated mother day for me without fail. to think this year, she gave me such a bad news.... blah blah blah...
get the drift?
Anyway, it finally dawned on me that ok... i think i reallly cant go. hence decided to send some presents over for my beloved... yesterday happily went to buy the presents... got a tee, a book , a birthday card and some badges which with good intentions, i wanna give to the fans who are present. its those pins with the letter "Z". got a good 18 of them....
and i even went to get the wrapping service which cost me a bloody $1! shucks! I can wrap myself and it cost nothing.. but then, i got no time. i was despo, hence had to spend the $.
Finally all are ready! It's time to go to the post office. Queued for like 10 minutes.
reached the counter, and asked the uncle.
How can I send these things over to Malaysia the fastest way?
Uncle blah blah... speedpost... he weighed my item, and it costed $35.80 to send it over.... shucks! so expensive! But then.. what to do? blame it all on me.
then i asked the uncle when can the parcel reach KL?
Uncle: I think Monday... (and he count count with his fingers, and continued) or Tuesday..
I tell you.. i feel like crying on the spot! why do such things happened!!!!
Why didnt i plan to send out the present earlier??? why am i always this last minute????
I was in a foul mood and really hate myself ...
no presents from me for him..... and i wunt be present....
when in reality, i got all my presents ready, and how i wished i can be present at the party....
sigh.....
til now, i am still comtemplating whether I should go KL anot ...
should i?
should I not???
Shouldnt human pursue their passions? paZZionZ in this sense... shouldnt we take more risks....?
well, i dont know.... i guess i will always be this lousy last minute creep....
i hate myself. period.
Ok... you see... my beloved's birthday is coming and there a birthday party held for him @ KL....
from the beginning, i was sooo determined to be there... rain or shine, or storm (yea.. heard there are some storming in Malaysia now) coz its my beloved birthday. I HAVE to be there!
Tried to find company to go... but... cant find.... coz its on a sunday, and will have to take leave on Monday.
Then i decided, well.. i shall go myself then!
Then friends start scaring me with horror stories... and said its unsafe for me to go there alone, which i agreed too....
i am quite clueless about KL, only been there twice and each time for less than 4 hours (i think). I do not know my way around. I will get lost. People will stalk me if they see me alone. rape? robbery? taking my life away?
Yes, every possible scenarios come into the picture and I am slightly worried too...
Plus, it's Mother's day this sunday.
I dont want my mama to get a bad mother day present. What if i am involved in accidents? what if i really die there? what if... what if???
The newspapers always report tragedies like this.... Mother: i never expect such present from my daughter. she always celebrated mother day for me without fail. to think this year, she gave me such a bad news.... blah blah blah...
get the drift?
Anyway, it finally dawned on me that ok... i think i reallly cant go. hence decided to send some presents over for my beloved... yesterday happily went to buy the presents... got a tee, a book , a birthday card and some badges which with good intentions, i wanna give to the fans who are present. its those pins with the letter "Z". got a good 18 of them....
and i even went to get the wrapping service which cost me a bloody $1! shucks! I can wrap myself and it cost nothing.. but then, i got no time. i was despo, hence had to spend the $.
Finally all are ready! It's time to go to the post office. Queued for like 10 minutes.
reached the counter, and asked the uncle.
How can I send these things over to Malaysia the fastest way?
Uncle blah blah... speedpost... he weighed my item, and it costed $35.80 to send it over.... shucks! so expensive! But then.. what to do? blame it all on me.
then i asked the uncle when can the parcel reach KL?
Uncle: I think Monday... (and he count count with his fingers, and continued) or Tuesday..
I tell you.. i feel like crying on the spot! why do such things happened!!!!
Why didnt i plan to send out the present earlier??? why am i always this last minute????
I was in a foul mood and really hate myself ...
no presents from me for him..... and i wunt be present....
when in reality, i got all my presents ready, and how i wished i can be present at the party....
sigh.....
til now, i am still comtemplating whether I should go KL anot ...
should i?
should I not???
Shouldnt human pursue their passions? paZZionZ in this sense... shouldnt we take more risks....?
well, i dont know.... i guess i will always be this lousy last minute creep....
i hate myself. period.
posted by Jane at
2:57 PM
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