funny bones

Today... im in a trying-to-be-funny mood.

Pls see examples below

Scene 1
james (touching his stomach): I got a stomachache
me (with big wide eyes): why??? ate something wrong???
james: no.. its the yogurt drink i drank in the morning.
then he took and show me the whole big bottle.. i dont know how many ml.. but its those family pack kind
me: haha...... see lah! dun share lah! thats ur punishment
james looked at me with puzzled expression
me: next time muz share ok...
And i sat down.

Scene 2
Me presented donuts to ak....
and he said: oh... all ur fault... i juz finished lunch.. and feeling very full now... but ur doughnut smell so nice... tempted me
then he said: so i decided to eat.. what the heck
me: yea.. its juz a matter of time lah!
ak: ya... come out still the same.... maybe same time also
me: errr..... i dont know what is ur process timing lah huh!

Scene 3
ak: do u happen to have a toothpick?
me nodded and showed him my little finger! im crappy aint i????

Scene 4
me: wah! u change ur phone!!!
james: ya... but the words too small.. i cant see the messages
me: aiya... juz ask me to read for u lor!!!
james: then im at home how?? i forward u the sms, then u call me and tell me what is the message?
me: also can lah!
james: then u go holiday? i also msg u??? thats quite funny. hahaha.....
me: on 2nd thoughts... better not lah hor!